“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”

-Tom Krause

i have been having a crisis of photography faith lately. in fact, i struggled with myself about this very blog post. i didn’t know if i should say what i have been feeling for so long publicly. (i don’t want my clients to think i am an inept photographer!)
there has to be someone else that feels like i do. and if there is just one other person and about i had made their day a little better by letting them know they aren’t the only one, then i did my job.

i am tired of getting ‘inspired’ by someone else and their work, whether i mean to or not. i am tried of feeling like a sub par (at best) photographer. i am tired of looking at another photographers work and longing that i could only be 1/2 that talented.
i am tired of swimming in the sea of same.

before i looked at other blogs, joined photography websites etc, i was a horrible photographer. i didn’t know how to use photoshop and i had no idea about most of the general things.

but.

i loved it. i took 100 pictures of my kids a day and i just thought it was fabulous. i was learning. i was loving.
some where between there and here, i started hating everything i did. nothing was good enough. it didn’t look like XYZ’s pictures. i had to get certain props, wood floors, do “THE” pose, get it all right. do what everyone else was doing.
sure i got the great job compliments, the happy clients, the pretty pictures. but i am not happy. i feel so uncreative and void of all emotion toward photography. i don’t like my own work.
can you imagine? i used to love this! and sure, i know what i am doing, i am confident in my abilities, but not in my creativity, i have been ignoring the “me” in my work. just doing the “sameness” is easier. i know how to do it. people like it. why move on?

and those horrible pictures i used to take? they were more full of emotion and love for photography than what i do now.

i am on a mission to find that girl. that one that loved photography so much and took interesting, albeit technically horrible pictures.
i am challenging myself (and you!) to unplug from the photography world for a while. don’t stalk the websites, the blogs, the forums. don’t run out to tjmaxx and get the latest cute chair or blanket. if you feel the same way, take at least one picture a day and post it to your blog. something that is totally different than what you normally do.
be you. find yourself.
i am desperate to find myself in my work.

of course no blog is complete without pictures. so there you go, some of little charlotte. she is a HAM.