“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”
-Tom Krause
i have been having a crisis of photography faith lately. in fact, i struggled with myself about this very blog post. i didn’t know if i should say what i have been feeling for so long publicly. (i don’t want my clients to think i am an inept photographer!)
there has to be someone else that feels like i do. and if there is just one other person and about i had made their day a little better by letting them know they aren’t the only one, then i did my job.
i am tired of getting ‘inspired’ by someone else and their work, whether i mean to or not. i am tried of feeling like a sub par (at best) photographer. i am tired of looking at another photographers work and longing that i could only be 1/2 that talented.
i am tired of swimming in the sea of same.
before i looked at other blogs, joined photography websites etc, i was a horrible photographer. i didn’t know how to use photoshop and i had no idea about most of the general things.
but.
i loved it. i took 100 pictures of my kids a day and i just thought it was fabulous. i was learning. i was loving.
some where between there and here, i started hating everything i did. nothing was good enough. it didn’t look like XYZ’s pictures. i had to get certain props, wood floors, do “THE” pose, get it all right. do what everyone else was doing.
sure i got the great job compliments, the happy clients, the pretty pictures. but i am not happy. i feel so uncreative and void of all emotion toward photography. i don’t like my own work.
can you imagine? i used to love this! and sure, i know what i am doing, i am confident in my abilities, but not in my creativity, i have been ignoring the “me” in my work. just doing the “sameness” is easier. i know how to do it. people like it. why move on?
and those horrible pictures i used to take? they were more full of emotion and love for photography than what i do now.
i am on a mission to find that girl. that one that loved photography so much and took interesting, albeit technically horrible pictures.
i am challenging myself (and you!) to unplug from the photography world for a while. don’t stalk the websites, the blogs, the forums. don’t run out to tjmaxx and get the latest cute chair or blanket. if you feel the same way, take at least one picture a day and post it to your blog. something that is totally different than what you normally do.
be you. find yourself.
i am desperate to find myself in my work.
of course no blog is complete without pictures. so there you go, some of little charlotte. she is a HAM.
I can completely relate – I feel your pain! Your daughter is the perfect muse! Such a beauty! I think I am going to pull back from forums and fb a bit this summer and just shoot whatever I want!
so cute! love the pig tails!
can we get a raft at least? my arms are getting tired.
(hugs)
I am totally with you and I feel the exact same way. I love your little one in pigtails.
i’m so glad you posted this. i’ve been feeling this way lately too, just not myself. i feel like i’ve been taking pictures that look like what others take just so they look good (in my mind). i’ve been a photographer since i was a kid, and i used to have SO much fun with it. i was actually just thinking today that i’m getting bored with ‘photography’, but i know that’s not the case, i just need to use those creative juices more and i need to be true to myself and shoot what interests me. not others. this will be a good challenge, thanks for the push!
I have been feeling that way too. HUGS. Your work is gorgeous
First off your little girl is gorgeous! Secondly recently I spent a lot of time thinking about who I wanted to be as a photographer and what type of shots make my heart sing and am now focusing on that path and am just a million times happier.
I’ve been having the same feelings.
Charlotte is a little doll!
You definitely are not alone girl! I’m right with ya.
amen amen amen amen! and a BIG thank you for saying how i’ve been feeling lately too!
There are a lot of talented people out there which is inspiring and frustrating! I think you are amazing!!!!!! Can’t wait to see more!
I think this was an incredibly brave entry to right. Your self-actualization is inspiring.
super cute!
I could have written this post too. Thanks for being brave enough to share! And these pics are adorable
Oh man, I could have written this post myself! NO, you are NOT alone in this. Sometimes I get so overwhelemd with my job and my businsess that I just do what’s “easy”.
Oh Rachael, this gave me chills and I am all teary. You are so so brave and I am so proud of you. I can’t believe you posted it, and I can, all at the same time. You are so much more real than a lot of people I know, and the fact that you posted this to your public client blog says that. You are an incredible person and I truly hope you find what you are looking for, and get the direction you need. <3
Brave post for sure. I am saddened to hear you feel this way!! Your work is beautiful. Dig deep and focus on those who matter to you in the business…your clients. I am sure they love your work and remember that they are NOT surfing the web to see all these people you are comparing yourself to. Be happy for other people’s talent and be proud of your own. Keep dreaming, keep with your photography and don’t be so hard on yourself. I sincerely hope you find what you are needing and that happiness finds you once again.
great post!
You’re really awesome, Rachael! I think posting something like this only proves that you’re a totally competent photographer who is anything but inept! Kudos!
Aww Rachel, I feel like this everyday. Just when I think i have a style, I think it is not as cool and creative as everyone else.
I so agree with you on the part that I used to take technically wrong shots before everyday of my kids…but they were emotionally right. I need to go back to that too!! Great post!
Hang in there…you will love it again and for what it is worth..I have always loved your work!!
Rachael, wow. You really put your heart into this post and I love you for your honesty. We all feel this way I think at some point until we do find who we are in this. It is really so hard to stand apart and be different with so much talent around to inspire us everyday but the part you said about being sure we love it, that is what matters. There is only ever going to be one person who does something the very first time…after that it is inspiration, but if the love is in it, it will be beautiful. Your work is so beautiful Rachael. I love your pics today!
I have felt this same way recently! Your photos are amazing though!
<3
Your daughter is SO gorgeous…I’m inspired by your work-even if you aren’t ‘feeling it’ right now!!
I can totally relate! Love these photos, though – it’s the ones like this that I always cherish the most.
First, Charlotte is adorable!
Second, I think we all feel that way at some point and maybe that we should feel that way. I think it’s best for us to step away from the forums and other photographer’s blogs and just be ourselves.
Love that laugh in the 2nd photo! and I know how you feel about finding yourself. I think as long as you keep shooting what you LOVE, you’ll always succeed.
Such an amazing, candid post. I think we all have those moments. I love to see other photographers work but there is that vicious comparison we inevitably do. Your work is truly beautiful. I hope you find the love again.
Thank you so much for posting this. It’s a great reminder not to be swept along by the latest craze but to try to be true to yourself and find the joy/keep the joy in photography. I do love your photos too.
thank you. your words inspire me
I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing, and keep in mind that your work is truly beautiful!
I feel that way every single day. I love taking pictures of my boys, but I get anxiety when I take pictures for clients. I wonder why I can’t be as good as other photographers. I need to have more faith in myself. I love your work and I think you are amazing. Charlotte is a DOLL!!! <3 XOXOXOXOXO